If you live in the Carlsbad area, are thinking about getting a divorce and considering how the process could play out, you may have a lot of fears about what could go wrong and fears about the unknown. If you’re in that position, contact our office and talk to us about your situation, because it may not be nearly as bad as you think.
The vast majority of divorce cases settle. Whatever issues divide spouses in nearly every case end up being resolved. That can happen through negotiation between the parties and their attorneys or through mediation.
Mediation involves a neutral, independent party who helps each side reach a resolution.
- Normally each side has an opportunity to tell their side of the story, the mediator will seek to narrow the issues in dispute and the parties break off into separate rooms.
- The mediator tries to understand what each side is truly after, their goals, where they’re willing to compromise and the issues where a party feels compelled not to compromise.
- Mediation often involves first getting agreement on lesser issues so the parties can create some good will and the mediation develops momentum. Ideally, progress with smaller issues will make both parties feel there’s too much at stake to walk away from an agreement and will work together to resolve major issues that may divide the parties.
- The mediator may be able to come up with solutions that neither side has considered. An experienced mediator may have dealt with many divorce cases and suggest an outcome that has worked for others in the past. Since the mediator as no “axe to grind” he or she may also be able to suggest a resolution that may escape the biased eyes of both parties.
- What is said during mediation is confidential and cannot be used in court. Any positions or statements can’t be used as evidence if mediation fails. This allows both sides to freely discuss the situation and their goals.
- Mediation can be especially helpful if there are children involved or for some reason the spouses want or need to maintain some kind of relationship. The more litigation is involved, the more the parties may become antagonized towards each other, making an ongoing relationship very difficult or impossible.
- If a divorce is mediated, the parties retain control of the outcome. If a divorce is litigated, the parties give up control of these important issues to the court, rolling the dice and hoping for the best.
- Mediation should take less time, energy, emotional and financial cost than litigation.
The goal of divorce is to improve your quality of life. A mediated divorce is one option that can help you begin the next chapter of your life on a positive note. Right now it may seem that agreeing on divorce settlement seems out of the question. However, with experienced help you and your partner may be able to reach such an agreement.