Prior to the 20th century, people didn’t get divorced much. It was socially taboo and usually difficult to obtain a divorce. If there was any dispute over custody of the children from the marriage, it was often granted to the father, who was seen as having greater ability to support the children financially, a stronger disciplinary hand, and better ability to set a good example. How times have changed.

Nowadays courts tend to take the exact opposite view, but on the basis that they believe the stereotype that a mother is better able to care for children than a father is. That view is possibly now a bit out-dated, because there have been so many changes in the way people live that the law hasn’t really been able to keep up.

Mothers do get awarded sole custody more often than men in contested custody disputes, which is an undeniable fact. But it’s not always the best decision.

Of course sometimes it also can go the other way. A father may be granted sole custody when really the mother is the better choice, but this is a much more rare situation. The point is that gender issues aside, courts can make mistakes. Often those mistakes start with mistakes made by the parent who should have been awarded custody but was not.

According to prominent child custody attorneys, Carlsbad based Fischer & Van Thiel, the most common mistake people make concerning this is not providing the right evidence in the right way to help the court make a correct decision. As a consequence, the court could then make an incorrect decision.

The best way to avoid this is to be sure to tell your lawyer every detail, no matter how small or trivial it may seem, so that they will have a full understanding of the evidence and will have the chance to develop a proper strategy to present it. Far too often details are left out due to wanting to avoid a scandal or due to a misplaced sense of loyalty to the former spouse. It’s best to realize that you’ve already moved on past that point, and that your actions moving forward should take into account what is best for you and for your children.

If the safety and well-being of the children is in any way uncertain if they were to remain in the custody of the other parent, it is vital that the court gets to hear your concerns and that any evidence which would prove that the other parent should not be awarded sole custody gets seen. That can only happen if firstly you have a competent lawyer who genuinely cares about your situation and you provide the lawyer with the information necessary to do their work on your behalf.

For the other parent to be granted sole custody, they will usually have to show some cause as to why you should not have joint custody. If the allegations made are provably untrue, or if the evidence against you has been falsified in any way, your lawyer can help you fix these problems too, but only if you make it known that this evidence can be nullified.